about asking questions

Sometimes when I'm not being a completly self-focused human (which, to be honest, isn't as often as I'd like), I think about ways that I can be a better lover of people. 

And today I thought about how powerful it is, how loving it is, to ask questions. 

Tonight I flipped through the gospels and skimmed some interactions Jesus has with the disciples.  After five minutes of doing this (I know, not exactly a scholarly search, but still) I was unable to find a single interaction in which Jesus does not ask a question. 

Asking questions is meaningful for a lot of reasons.  One big one, I think, is that it takes the focus away from yourself.  When we ask questions, we stop being wholly concerned with telling people things that we're about and become more concerned with listening to the things other people are about.  We give people our time.  We give people our focus, which, in our culture, is not that common of an occurrence. 

And moreover, we give people value. By asking people questions, we communicate that they are worth being known - their responses are worth being shared, and their opinions really mean something.  

Another side-effect of questions, and a purely selfish one, is that it forces us to become more than what we currently are.

There are so many perspectives I never would've considered, so many ideas I never would've known, and so many lives I never would've participated in if I failed to ask a few key questions.  Granting people that opportunity to really share themselves with you means that people actually share things with you -- you get to take part in it!

There is beauty, I truly believe, in relationships where questions are asked and we actually listen to the answers. 

And I want more of that, don't you?