about being free-spirited, with a spreadsheet

I had this thought about time a few weeks ago, and the thought is a bit morbid, but a lot true.  There are only so many minutes in a day, and only so many days in a life, and how we spend those minutes matter.

This thought came to me after several nights in a row of curling up into bed having that feeling of "ughh. I wasted so much time today! I wanted to do x, y, and z, and I did none of it!"

My tendency in life is not to set up structured routines.  I'm more of a go-with-the-flow, "let's see where the wind takes us", spontaneity-trumps-planning type of gal. I mean, I studied POETRY, people.  Not economics.  BUT I am learning a lot about life these days.  And one of those lessons is that strategy and organization are your friends.  They do not make you boring.  They make you smart.  And actually, I'd argue, they can make you happy. 

I like to call it The Free-Spirited Life, with Excel.

Here's what I mean.  Life is an adventure, but we have to make choices about how we spend our time, where we invest, and what we invest in.  Otherwise our minutes slip from us, and we'll spend more time thinking about who we want to be, tweeting about who we want to be, and talking about who we want to be - rather than actually BEING who we want to be. 

I have been there.
Hence the need for some strategy.

For the past few weeks, in response to my dreadful bedtime feeling of failing myself with time, and the realization that I need some structure and discipline, I've come up with a list of answers to a question that gauges where my priorities fall. 

When I go to bed each night, what are the things I want to have done in my day?

I've got about six things on my list, and they help give some purpose to my day and some accountability behind my decisions.

I've started to see how strategic decisions based on a goal can keep me from making decisions that do nothing to invest in the future-me I'd like to become.  For example, when I binge watch Homeland late at night (not that I'd do that) and become too tired to read the bible for half an hour before work, I start my day off failing to hit one of the six goals on my list. 

I'm learning, too, that I won't become a better me just by accident.  I've got to decide to become it.  I've got to decide to write and finish that project I've started.  I've got to decide to spend time with someone in my community who I've been wanting to get to know.  I've got to go out of my way to do something selfless.  It won't just fall into my lap. 

I still want a life that is fun and wild and free -- but I'm bringing my color-coordinated agenda along for the ride.  It's just better that way.


ps. for some reading on living a meaningful, strategic life, check out The Happiness Project.