about Middle School Emily

Dear readers,
I'd like to introduce you to someone,  Her name is Middle School Emily.
She existed about 10 years ago and boy, she was a character.

Here are a few fun facts you may be interested in knowing:
Middle School Emily enjoyed:

1) Lip gloss. As much as she could get her hands on.  In fact, she made one of her best friends while bonding over the different lip glosses in their purses during 7th grade homeroom.  They are still best friends to this day, but luckily no longer only discuss which shade of glittery lip smackers is sexiest.

2) Screaming at her mother every morning that she had nothing to wear.  Middle School Emily was in a constant battle with her wardrobe; nothing seemed cool enough or short enough or American Eagle enough to be seen strutting down the hallways of Warrenton Middle.

3) Being a class-A b-word.  But for real.  No one ever believes this when Current Day Emily says it, but it's true. Middle School Emily did really kind things like creating a seating chart for her table in the cafeteria so as to avoid sitting with anyone who may put a damper on her super popular Middle School persona. I mean, who you associate with in Middle School totally makes or breaks your future.

4) AIM relationships.  Flirting on her AOL screen-name (lipglossluv4u or leocrazy47, created after she saw Titanic of course) was her day job.  She would print out all her convos with boys, share them with her friends, analyze every romantic emoticon usage, and never talk to said boy in real life.

5) Celebrities.  Middle School Emily had a ziploc bag full of cutout photos from magazines of all the current hotties - Orlando Bloom, Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp, Leonardo Dicaprio, etc. etc.  Current Day Emily is still perplexed by what purpose those cutouts served, but if at any point there was an emergency in which someone needed a picture collection of all the biggest teen heartthrobs in order to save the planet, Middle School Emily would have become a legend.

6) Nicknames.  MSE and her friends had a nickname for everything.  For themselves, (Ilro was her's which is"Orli" backwards, short for Orlando Bloom of course), for boys they liked (one of her crushes was nicknamed "Golfbag" and Current Day Emily has no recollection of why), and for their teachers.  This was mostly so they could talk about everyone behind their backs without anyone being able to tell who the gossip was directed at.  MSE enjoyed being both sly and a poop face.

7) Movie marathons.  Almost every weekend MSE and her friends would terrorize one of their parent's homes with a sleepover that consisted of hours of girly squeals, prank calling boys, and watching the same movies over and over again.  They watched movies like Lord of the Rings, not because it is arguably the best story ever written, but because Orlando Bloom was in it and he was hot.  They were endlessly holding intellectual discussions over which Brad Pitt they preferred - Legends of the Fall Brad Pitt, Meet Joe Black Brad Pitt, or Troy Brad Pitt.  To this day there has been no conclusive winner.


8) Writing notes.  MSE and her friends created the infamous "Note Notebook"  in which they discussed all the urgent matters of the day - where "Tibbar" was going to make-out with her boyfriend for the first time, why getting an "A" in Spanish was so difficult, and how they should divide their summer vacation between tanning and shopping.  To read some of the tantalizing details, take a peek below.

*Current Day Emily would like to make the disclaimer that she should no longer be held responsible for the actions/words of MSE because MSE was an idiot.

The Note Notebook included cute outfits -- it was always necessary to know the brand, duh! 

Counting down until one of the most important events of our lives, Space Camp! 

"I'm out like the phrase bling bling!" 

No NN would be complete without a quiz of what type of guy you're best suited for.  How else would you know if Seventeen Magazine didn't tell you?!

Another important question.  

"..I turned on the T.V. and this talk show was on, and the girl was like "no guy has ever been interested in me my whole life".  I mean, sure it was because she had no legs or arms, but it was so sad!!" 

NN gave us great pictures to pay attention to instead of class. 

The sidenote says "It's hard to believe he is in his 40's!" #middleschoolcreeps

Tampon personality quizzes.  

Keeping our "Hot Guys List" always accurate and timely. 

OMG which are your fave? 

We figured that NN wasn't obnoxious enough so we had to write our notes in neon colors that make your eyes bleed.  (Also  - "OMG! I actually have an official crush right now! It's Golfbag! He's so perfect, I mean I can't stop thinking about him!" 

*sigh* H-O-T-T!