I could watch Harriet the Spy or the Olsen twin's detective series ("we'll solve any crime by dinner time!") over and over again. I even had a pink voice recorder I would use to take matters into my own hands after the stories ended.
It's safe to say - I was into mysteries.
Which is funny, because I was typing an e-mail to one of my best friends a few weeks ago and wrote with exasperation "my heart is a mystery to me" and it was (and most days is) true. True in an annoying, frustrating, "why can't I figure out what is going on in there" sort of way.
When mystery gets too close, it seems, it loses its sparkle.
I was grateful when my friend wrote back "of course your heart is a mystery! The bible even says so!" because that made me feel like less of a crazy person. And also it has made me reflect on the verse she was referencing in Jeremiah that says of the heart "who can know it?"
And who can? Who can know the deep caverns of ourselves that conflict and astound us? And who can know where life will lead, or what the world will become in ten years? Not I - that is for sure.
Today on a walk I found myself remembering and thanking God that He is the answer to the question of "who". And that in all the mystery, there is something beautiful to be discovered.
There is something beautiful about that part of me that delights in magic shows, rollercoasters and mystery novels - that part that loves being totally taken away by something I cannot control. I get excited when I remember that the Lord describes some of the best things in life as mysteries - marriage, our own created hearts, ultimately our faith.
I am not always gracious with myself when life feels like a mystery. I think God is teaching me not only to cope with the unknown but to enjoy it. There is so much in this world to "figure out", but rather than solving every puzzle I want to learn to trust more, love more, and delight more in every detail of my life.
There is extra comfort in knowing that to God, I am not at all a mystery. I am someone who is known.
When mystery gets too close, it seems, it loses its sparkle.
I was grateful when my friend wrote back "of course your heart is a mystery! The bible even says so!" because that made me feel like less of a crazy person. And also it has made me reflect on the verse she was referencing in Jeremiah that says of the heart "who can know it?"
And who can? Who can know the deep caverns of ourselves that conflict and astound us? And who can know where life will lead, or what the world will become in ten years? Not I - that is for sure.
Today on a walk I found myself remembering and thanking God that He is the answer to the question of "who". And that in all the mystery, there is something beautiful to be discovered.
There is something beautiful about that part of me that delights in magic shows, rollercoasters and mystery novels - that part that loves being totally taken away by something I cannot control. I get excited when I remember that the Lord describes some of the best things in life as mysteries - marriage, our own created hearts, ultimately our faith.
I am not always gracious with myself when life feels like a mystery. I think God is teaching me not only to cope with the unknown but to enjoy it. There is so much in this world to "figure out", but rather than solving every puzzle I want to learn to trust more, love more, and delight more in every detail of my life.
There is extra comfort in knowing that to God, I am not at all a mystery. I am someone who is known.
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