about after the fire

Do you ever have those moments where you read something and it just makes your soul hush?

There is this bit about Elijah in 1 Kings 19 that is just so darn lovely.  It is pouring out its stillness all over my heart.

Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

If you were to ask me for some adjectives to describe God I think the first few words out of my mouth would be "mighty, powerful, all-knowing, strong..." It would be words that, to me, describe God's glory, something I tend to think has to be loud and obvious.  

John Piper wrote a poem about Elijah and my favorite stanza reads "And then a bolt of lightning hit/ The cliff beside the cave and split /The mountain like a blade would cleave/A melon rind and then bereave/ Ten thousand hearts. Come look and see/ Is this the sum of majesty?/ What is the God of glory like/ He was not present in the strike."

Those words remind of what is true and of what I forget -- that God finds his glory both in the loud, stormy moments of my life but also in the still and ordinary parts.

In his encounter with Elijah, God's glory is not some sort of "showing off" through his great power over the elements.  What is magical and special is his stillness.  It's as if he is saying "See this? All this power I have over the earth? That is NOTHING compared to the glory I receive in being with you always, in being your God in each and every moment."  

I really don't want to cheat God out of his "sum of majesty", as Piper puts it.  Because if I think his glory will only present itself in thunder and lightning, I am missing his greatest delight -- the moments when I am so still that his voice rings in me and calls me to life.  

about how all the cool people are on Team Peeta

Folks, I hope you've pre-purchased your movie tickets because Hunger Games: Chasing Fire comes out ONE WEEK FROM MIDNIGHT TONIGHT!!!

Not that I'm excited.

I thought that now, as we get down to the last crucial moments before the premiere, I should take a minute just to put this silly "Team Peeta vs Team Gale" thing to bed. Because obviously, Peeta takes the cake (literally, because he's a baker! get it?) and is SO so so much better than Gale.

Here are just some brief bullet points, if you even feel you need convincing. (PS. spoiler alert!)

• Peeta fully understands Katniss' hardships - Peeta experiences the games alongside Katniss, putting him in the perfect position to know, understand, and love Katniss as she struggles in a dangerous and changing world.  
• Peeta bakes - Free bread for life, yo. 
• Peeta relies on his smarts, not his muscles - From the start Peeta proves successful because of how he thinks through situations.  Gale, on the other hand, tends to be impulsive and typically relies on his strength instead of his mind. 
• Peeta is the perfect balance to Katniss - We all know that opposites attract. And Gale and Katniss are WAY too similar.  Where Katniss fails in expressing her feelings, Peeta rushes in with compassion and is never timid to declare his emotions. Super hawt.  
• Peeta is an artist - Again, super hawt. 
• Peeta WINS - people, let us not forget.  KATNISS ENDS UP WITH PEETA.  Check and mate. (and literally, they mate) 

And there you have it - Team P 4 lyfe.

Happy Hunger Games -- and may the odds be ever in your favor!

about a good playlist

If I could make weird things that aren't official love languages into love languages (like cookie baking, speaking in strange accents, telling a good joke, etc.) then I would certainly add "sharing a good playlist" to that category.

I don't really know why I stopped doing it often, but back in high school we would trade mix CDs like notes.  I still have so so many scattered in my car and in my closet and sometimes I find them and pop them in and remember how loved I felt when I received it.  My friends and I spent hours just listening to our new favorite bands, sharing new songs we knew someone in particular would love, making playlists for every situation in life.  Music filled in so many of our memories.  We connected through music and we encouraged each other through music and we grew up with it taking us to new places and thoughts and feelings.

Sharing music you love with someone you love is such a sweet and intimate thing.  Music is magical. It shapes us and it's personal and it means something significant to our individual lives -- and when we get to experience it together, it's special.

And so, dear friends who read this little blog, in the spirit of sharing with you all what's in my ears and humming through my heart, below are a few songs I think you will enjoy.  This is a mini-playlist of covers -- I've always been into covers, but especially so lately.  Don't really know why.  I think they are lovely.  I envy the creativity of artists to take something that exists and make it uniquely theirs.  I like the way new lyrics stick out to me and how the shift in tune or instrument brings out such different meaning.

And, you know, if you were to share the songs you're into lately, I really wouldn't mind at all ;)  In fact, it'd make me feel warm and cozy, sort of like you were speaking my language.

BROOKE FRASER - You Can Close Your Eyes (James Taylor cover) 

KINA GRANNIS - Use Somebody (Kings of Leon cover) 


ELLIE GOULDING - Your Song (Elton John cover) 

BEN TAYLOR - I Try (Macy Gray cover) 


ANGUS & JULIA STONE - You're the One that I Want (Grease cover) 

all about lists

Hey blog friends.
It's Thursday and Thursday feels like a pretty great day to make a list.  Plus, all the cool blogs are doing it so I thought I would too!

1) Which Downton character are you? I got Matthew.  Feelin' pretty cool about myself.
2) Speaking of your Myers-Briggs type, this says personality type can determine your paycheck.  (and I have the personality that literally makes the least...)
3) It is grilled cheese season and to celebrate I've already had it for dinner three times this week
4) Speaking of cheese, who doesn't love night cheese, Liz Lemon references, and crazy dreams?
5) My two favorite pop-music guilty pleasures have birthed a song.  If you need me I'll be dancing in the kitchen.
6) This essay by David Sedaris is dark and light, sad and happy, beautiful and beautiful.
7) Dear coat, I need your arms around me.
8) Desperately want this chair for the office.
9) Who Hemingway thought were the best people.  
10) Would it be weird if I got a tiger costume and did this same thing?
11) That pic is the little peek of city-sunset I got during my jog yesterday. Taken right before I fell on my face at a crowded intersection, started bleeding, and cracked my iPhone because it was not meant to be smashed into concrete .

about going back there again

I get lost sometimes. 

And by "sometimes" I mean "alotofthetimes". 

Twice in the last month I've gotten stuck out in Northern Virginia past the time I-66 turns into crazy-psycho-land and on my way back home into the city I've tried to take a different route.  And both times, in a way that only I could manage, I have ended up driving through Seven Corners, aka Seven Times Worse Than Hell. 

Seven Corners is this mess of converging roads that is always crowded and ugly and horribly confusing to drive through and it makes me want to pull all of my hair out or ram my car full force into a stop sign. I have screamed at the top of my lungs in my car while driving there. (really).  I say words that could only be expressed in symbols and punctuation signs.  I lose my cool.  Because, seriously-  it is the WORST.  It is worse than the worst.  And I hate going there.  

But somehow, twice in the past month, there I've been.  I simply couldn't avoid it. 

It's funny - because sometimes I feel like my life is full of Seven Corners and back I find myself in the same place, upset about the same issue or worrying about the same things I've always worried about or learning something I thought I'd already mastered.  I find myself going back there, to the places I wanted to be done and over with spiritually and emotionally -- and that is hard sometimes.  With that "sometimes" really being "allthetimes".  

Have you ever felt that? Like you just want to yell up to the sky "HEY GOD. We've been here already...did you forget or something??" 

And of course, He didn't.  I'm learning, during those moments when I want to bang my head against the steering wheel or find myself uttering all too familiar words in my prayers, that I will be led by the Lord to the same places until He is satisfied by what I've gained from going there. 

One of my favorite verses in the bible is Philippians 1:6.  It says "...he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion."  To put it another way -- God is not into half-way helping you.  He is not into bringing you only partly into righteousness.  He is about perfection.  He is about grabbing your hand (even a hand that is attached to a stubborn, screaming body in the middle of a temper tantrum) and leading you right back into your pain or your fears or your insecurities because in that place He is making you new.   

I'm trying, even though it's tough, to follow His call to go back there again.  Even when I think that I've learned how to be forgiving enough, or am unwilling to reopen another lie about myself that I've settled on believing, or thought I've loved someone adequately enough not to return to the difficulty of doing it again.  

There are just so many places to go in this universe, so many places we can run away to, forgetting the difficult paths we walked on before.  But there is no where we can go that is better than where He leads. Even if He leads us backwards.